Krazzy 4! 4! 4! 4! (The sound effect through most of what is magnanimously called a movie)

Indianised (butchered?!) versions of great western movies like Snatch, The Rock (well, good in its own genre) have fallen flat on their face, so you’d think that an average movie like ‘The Dream Team’ will not be a good ‘inspiration’. You'd be right.

I am guessing you will read/hear reviews ripping the movie apart, so will focus on a few points that pissed me off like hell!

The movie is, well, a-long-drawn-pain-in-the-ass flick, with the only originality apparent in the whole movie being the fact that they have managed to invent an entirely new genre.

The movie is about 4 ‘differently-abled’ individuals who have a day-out planned with their psychiatrist (played by a visibly aged and plump, but still very cute, Juhi Chawla) but because of events that unfold, they are left to fend for themselves in the big, bad city.
The patients are Arshad Warsi (who suffers from ‘Intermittent Explosive Temper Disorder’!), Irrfan Khan (Obsessive Compulsive ‘Personality’ Disorder), Rajpal Yadav (Schizophrenia) and Suresh Menon (Constipation, at both ends). Arshad Warsi could have been the one with OCD, the way he is obsessed with running his hands through his hair throughout the movie.

The cinematography was atrocious, when you think about the scenes (Why on God’s green earth would anyone want to do that? Good question!)
In the shots from inside the Innova, it looks like a cheap handycam was used, and the man ‘manning’ the camera was (understandably?) more interested in the interiors of the vehicle than the mundane story playing out outside.
Or the extreme talent required in editing the scenes where Dabbu (Suresh Menon) is trying to get rid of the dog trying to bite him. You almost don’t notice that Suresh Menon and the dog are not shown in the same frame. Just a pair of legs in bright orangish-pink three-fourths which statistics show would probably be worn by no other guy in Bombay anyway.
Or why a camera was placed inside a dustbin to capture the discarding of a chips packet which had no relevance to the story. My bad, that is true of most of the scenes in the movie.

The product placements were impeccable! All vehicles used in the movie were Toyotas and reversed into the camera to drive the point home. Aaj Tak is one of the most popular news channels, so no wonder it is all over the place (Dia Miza on the other hand, has no such excuse).
All the movie was lacking was showing Colin, the surface stain cleaner which Irrfan Khan could have used to try and clean the tattoo from Rakhi Sawant’s ‘lower waist’. And maybe a few inches of cellulite from her body. And some shampoo for her, but I digress.

I could go on and on (well, I already did) but I don’t want to waste any more of your time. And for anyone to make sense (really?!) of this review, you will have to have seen the movie. So those of you who can’t make head or tail of it, “You lucky $#@*&”

The saving grace of the whole movie is possibly the catchy beginning of the title song (though I still prefer ‘The Thump’ and the dance in that ad) and of course the fact that it ends (not a minute too soon and actually 120 minutes too late)